The "Lucky To Be Alive" Thread

[jinnyjoe]

:d:d:d
just a wee joke, of course.
I reserve the death sentence for those who call me middle aged.
Actually, didn't you............................!

:d:d:d

[jinnyjoe]

Right! I posted this elsewhere a few years back

I was wallpapering in a very respectable 'born again' home a couple of years back. Having spliced a bit above a doorframe, I descended from the steps as usual. Unfortunately, I was using steps which belonged to the people of the house and as anyone who uses a stepladder on a daily basis will tell you, that can be a dangerous thing.

The slight differential in height caused me to step for the ground too early and with hands full, I fell towards the door. Wearing a pair of jeans with a button fly, somehow the door handle managed to slip inside the fly and press tight against the ever so slight overhang of my stomach.

Because of the angle of the fall and the 'jamming' of the handle, I was just about suspended with the tips of my toes barely touching the ground. I couldn't move sideways and the pressure on the buttons was too great to release them.

Having abandoned what I had in my hands and mindful that the woman of the house was in the next room, I had to grab the top of the door and hoist myself up whilst at the same time wriggle sideways.

As soon as I did this, the door began to swing to and fro and to an eyewitness, I'm sure it looked like I was trying to have sex with the door. Thank goodness it was a solid door and frame ot the whole shooting match would have been on top of me.

Upshot was, I extricated myself with all the grace of a horse opening a bag of crisps seconds before the householder appeared.

Lucky to be alive? You don't know the owner of the house nor the exorcism he would have employed should he have caught me riding his door.


Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Love this story/truth of yours 5, Am I perverse in visualising it, I hope not

[TotalMayhem]

Plane hits Ferris wheel north of Sydney, trapping four

The Cheetah S200 plane with two men aboard did not topple the wheel after hitting it during a festival in the village of Old Bar.

The men and two children at the top of the wheel were trapped for some time before being rescued by a crane.

There were no serious injuries in Saturday's incident, the officials say.

[TotalMayhem]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pt0K1OwlKQM"]Cessna 310 Ditches Into the Pacific Ocean Near Hawaii After Running Out of Fuel - YouTube[/ame]

A 65-year-old man flying from California to Hawaii was forced to ditch his plane in the Pacific Ocean on Friday night 13 miles off the coast of Hilo after running out of gas, the U.S. Coast Guard said.

The man was flying for delivery a Cessna 310 twin-engine aircraft from Monterey, California, to Hilo when he radioed federal aviation authorities that he was 500 miles out and low on fuel, said Petty Officer 3rd Class Angela Henderson, a spokeswoman for the Coast Guard.

He estimated he would run out of fuel 100 miles short of the island, according to a Coast Guard statement.

The Coast Guard deployed rescue crews aboard a C-130 Hercules and an MH-65 Dolphin helicopter to intercept the pilot and escort his plane with the hope of coaching him to a safe landing, said Coast Guard Lt. Gene Maestas. A Coast Guard ship was also at the scene.

The plane didn't make it, running out of fuel as the pilot had predicted.

"The pilot ditched his airplane at approximately 5:23 p.m. and climbed out of the cockpit onto the wing," the Coast Guard said in a statement.

[TotalMayhem]

Model and fashion blogger Lauren Scruggs has lost her hand in a fre@k plane propeller accident.

The blonde beauty also sustained severe head and shoulder injuries after walking into the spinning blades upon exiting a two-seater plane in Texas on Saturday.

(So, fre ak accident is a swear word now? What a fµcking nuisance that filter is...)

[Andrew49]

Passenger plane flips, catches fire on landing - no deaths.

The Kyrgyz government says that 31 people have been injured in the crash-landing of a passenger jet. Kyrgyzstan's Health Ministry said the Soviet-built Tu-134 jet was carrying 95 passengers and six crew when it crash-landed in deep fog Wednesday at the airport of the southern city of Osh.

Source - MSNBC Photoblog

[TotalMayhem]

Builder's escape as bar spears his skull

A 24-year-old builder has miraculously survived after a 6ft metal bar pierced his head.

Doctors successfully withdrew the iron bar from Eduardo Leite's skull during a five-hour-long surgery Rio de Janeiro's Miguel Couto Hospital.

Dr Luiz Essinger said Leite was lucid and showed no negative consequences after the operation. He said that "it was a miracle" that Leite survived.

The bar fell from the fifth floor of a building under construction on Wednesday, went through Leite's hard hat, entered the back of his skull and exited between his eyes

[C. Flower]

Fell seven floors onto his head.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19257779

Thirteen young British people have fallen off balconies on holiday so far this year, three of whom died.

Foreign and Commonwealth Office advice on not falling off (or jumping off) balconies.

http://www.fco.gov.uk/en/news/latest...s&id=800128982

[Ephilant]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=on3RxOpGNYA"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=on3RxOpGNYA[/ame]