Jokes!!!

[TotalMayhem]

[joekilgobinet]

Man sittin in Hogan Stand, all Ireland
final day empty seat beside him. The
man at other side says, "you're on your
own." Man replies "the empty seat was
my wife's. She's dead," Other man says
"Have you no other members of your
famiy who could take the seat?" Man
replies "I have, but sure, they're all at
the funeral."

[Baron von Biffo]

[TotalMayhem]

[PaddyJoe]

The Apple Maps jokes write themselves...

[fluffybiscuits]

I love jesus, he is born I get presents, he dies I get chocolate

[Baron von Biffo]

Drink gin by the bottle and the bottom will fall out of your world.

Drink syrup of figs by the bottle and the world will fall out of your bottom.

[TotalMayhem]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2_c81Nnsc0"]Cell Phones In Church - YouTube[/ame]

[PaddyJoe]

Oops:
Gallup Poll: Rural Whites Prefer Ahmadinejad to Obama
TEHRAN (FNA)- According to the results of a Gallup poll released Monday, the overwhelming majority of rural white Americans said they would rather vote for Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad than US President Barack Obama.
http://english.farsnews.com/newstext.php?nn=9106242628

[Mick Tully]

Two 80 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.
>
> When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day
> Mike says, "Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played
> football on Sundays together for so many years. Please do me one
> favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if
> there's football there."
>
> Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed," Mike, you've been my best
> friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour
> for you.
>
> Shortly after that, Joe passes on.
>
> At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound
> sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to
> him, "Mike, Mike."
>
> "Who is it? Asks Mike sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"
>
> "Mike, it's me, Joe."
>
> "You're not Joe. Joe just died."
>
> "I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice."
>
> "Joe! Where are you?"
>
> "In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad
news."
>
> "Tell me the good news first ," says Mike.
>
> "The good news," Joe says," is that there's football in heaven. Better
> yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better
> than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring
> time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play
> football all we want, and we never get tired."
>
> That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So
> what's the bad news?
>
> "You're in the team for this Saturday."

[PaddyJoe]

Tommy's a demon for speed:
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ocWVgmkUSk&feature=relmfu"]Sminky Shorts: Tommy - YouTube[/ame]

[Baron von Biffo]

Brendan Howlin is the last man you'd expect to see taking the knickers off female soldiers.

[TotalMayhem]

They walk among us and even vote, scary thought...

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CI8UPHMzZm8"]Please Move The Deer Crossing - YouTube[/ame]

[Baron von Biffo]

They walk among us and even vote, scary thought...

Please Move The Deer Crossing - YouTube

It's not for nothing that most Americans aren't allowed to vote in their presidential elections.

[TotalMayhem]