Jokes!!!

[Baron von Biffo]

Why do North-side Dubs keep pigeons?





To learn how to walk.

[Maximus]

How do you get a load of cows into a shed?

Put a bingo sign outside

[Maximus]

Why do North-side Dubs keep pigeons?





To learn how to walk.

As a Northside Dub who has heard plenty of Northside jokes that's not the best one I've heard.

[Baron von Biffo]

As a Northside Dub who has heard plenty of Northside jokes that's not the best one I've heard.

On the inside I'm weeping.

[Maximus]

On the inside I'm weeping.

Jez I didn't attempt to make you cry. It's only a forum.

Here's a good one.

Why do southsiders have see through wheely bins?

So the northsiders can go window shopping

[Baron von Biffo]

[Baron von Biffo]

An allegorical tale of the Irish electorate.

[Baron von Biffo]

TV3 beats RTE in the comedy stakes.

[5intheface]

TV3 beats RTE in the comedy stakes.

Not relevant or a joke but a few years back, the English actor Ian Lavender of Dad's Army fame was a guest contestant on Celebrity Mastermind.

When he took his seat, the host asked, 'Your name please?'

Before he had time to reply, another contestant, musician Rick Wakeman shouted,

'Don't tell him, Pike!'

[TotalMayhem]

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of ten million dollars. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, “Ask him where the money is!

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where’s the money?

Guido signs back, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” The lawyer tells the Godfather, “He says he doesn’t know what you are talking about”

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido’s head and says, “Ask him again and tell him if he doesn’t answer I’ll kill him!”

The lawyer signs to Guido, “He’ll kill you if you don’t tell him.”

Guido trembles and signs back, “OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno’s house.

The Godfather asks the lawyer, “What did he say?”

The lawyer replies, “He says you don’t have the balls to pull the trigger.”

[Sam Lord]

[Baron von Biffo]

Romeo and Juliet
'Twas in a restaurant that they met
They had no money to pay their debt
So Romey owed what julie et.

[Baron von Biffo]

[TotalMayhem]

The Funniest Quotes In Sports History

[Ephilant]

Dimitri is sitting on the plane on Athens International airport, heading for Frankfurt for yet another boring finance meeting, and can't believe his luck when an absolutely ravishing beauty sits down beside him.
Dimitri musters up all his courage and asks her if she what's taking her to Frankfurt.
Oh says the woman, I'm the guest speaker at the international convention of nymphomaniacs. Dimitri nearly chokes but doesn't have too much problems keeping the conversation going as the woman talks 100 out. Now and again he asks a question just to keep things going. So he asks, there are lots of stories about various nationalities of guys being better endowed than others. What's your experience? And off she goes, talking about how she believes the native americans are unbeatable in that respect. Half an hour later the monologue comes to an end and Dimitri fires in his next question, wanting to know which nationality gives a woman most pleasure. Off she goes again, this time singing the praises of the Israeli men. After a while she runs out of steam again, and Dimitri asks her who in her esteemed opinion is the best all-rounder. Ah she says, that HAS to be the South African Boer, and off she goes again, this time taking them all the way to Frankfurt. While they are getting ready to disembark Dimitri turns around to her and says: Sorry, where are my thoughts. I never introduced myself. My name is Tonto Goldstein, but all my friends call me Frikkie....