The Bits About the Bible You Never Hear

[fluffybiscuits]

http://www.11points.com/books/11_thi..._you_do_anyway

So some classics for your amusement..

Shellfish. Leviticus 11:10 reads, "But whatever is in the seas and in the rivers that does not have fins and scales among all the teeming life of the water, and among all the living creatures that are in the water, they are detestable things to you." And shellfish is right in that wheelhouse.

Football. At least, the pure version of football, where you play with a pigskin. The modern synthetic footballs are ugly and slippery anyways. Leviticus 11:8, which is discussing pigs, reads "You shall not eat of their flesh nor touch their carcasses; they are unclean to you."

And you're doubly breaking that if you wake up, eat some sausage then go throw around the football. Or go to the county fair and enter a greased pig catching contest.

But my favourite...

Letting people without testicles into church. Whether you've been castrated or lost one or two balls to cancer isn't important. The Bible doesn't get that specific. It just says you can't pray.

Deuteronomy 23:1 reads (this is the God's Word translation, which spells it out better), "A man whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off may never join the assembly of the Lord."

Oh, and the next verse says that if you're a bastard, the child of a bastard... or even have a great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandchild of a bastard, you can't come to church or synagogue either. Deuteronomy 23:2 reads, "No one of illegitimate birth shall enter the assembly of the Lord; none of his descendants, even to the tenth generation, shall enter the assembly of the Lord."

If a woman is menstruating...

http://www.openbible.info/topics/menstruation

If a man lies with a woman during her menstrual period and uncovers her nakedness, he has made naked her fountain, and she has uncovered the fountain of her blood. Both of them shall be cut off from among their people.

Slave ownership..

http://www.answersingenesis.org/arti...-bible-slavery

Lots more floating about...anyone else any more to add?

[Baron von Biffo]

Ezekiel 23:20

[fluffybiscuits]

Ezekiel 23:20

Brilliant

[Captain Con O'Sullivan]

I think Leviticus was the bit that two lads emerged from the temple in jerusalem saying they'd just found in a cupboard behind the cornflakes in the kitchen- some hundreds of years after the other scrolls of the Old Testament had been selected.

As you do.

Isn't there a bit hanging over from the judaic rites where xtian females are not supposed to be allowed in the home while menstruating as they are 'unclean'?

I'd like to see that one being explained by the Gaye Mitchells of this world to their missuses. They'd find out pretty quickly what the wrath of god might look like.

[Slim Buddha]

Brilliant

I don´t mean to be pedantic but it is, I presume, Ezekiel 25;17

[fluffybiscuits]

I don´t mean to be pedantic but it is, I presume, Ezekiel 25;17

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Oh er missus!

[fluffybiscuits]

I think Leviticus was the bit that two lads emerged from the temple in jerusalem saying they'd just found in a cupboard behind the cornflakes in the kitchen- some hundreds of years after the other scrolls of the Old Testament had been selected.

As you do.

Isn't there a bit hanging over from the judaic rites where xtian females are not supposed to be allowed in the home while menstruating as they are 'unclean'?

I'd like to see that one being explained by the Gaye Mitchells of this world to their missuses. They'd find out pretty quickly what the wrath of god might look like.

It was a common practice wasnt it up until the sixties or seventies that a woman was churched as they so lovingly termed it to cleanse them of their sins? A mother was churched for the act of sex itself, not for giving birth...

[Captain Con O'Sullivan]

Yep- you should see the wriggling among the stern faithful when that question comes up. Ranges from 'symbolism' to 'that never happened'

[fluffybiscuits]

http://etb-common-sense.blogspot.ie/...ed-to-god.html

More and get this , this is on leprosy! A priest purifies the house and then a bird is released!

During a conversation with one of my best mates last night, I put this thread to him. He told me we only follow the New Testament, its like a new law superceding an old one. To me its like Christians more likely ignoring convenient parts of the law...

[fluffybiscuits]

How does this one tickle peoples fancy...

http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=28745

god knew that Mary would say yes to being pregnant, as he was omnipotent he knows everything. If he is all knowing and knows what is going to be said and done therefore everything is pre planned. This eliminates free will that man can do what he want and therefore free will is non existent.

[Shaadi]

http://etb-common-sense.blogspot.ie/...ed-to-god.html

More and get this , this is on leprosy! A priest purifies the house and then a bird is released!

During a conversation with one of my best mates last night, I put this thread to him. He told me we only follow the New Testament, its like a new law superceding an old one. To me its like Christians more likely ignoring convenient parts of the law...

Cognitive dissonance! They're living a lie, they know it, but won't admit it. Opium for the massgoers.

[fluffybiscuits]

Cognitive dissonance! They're living a lie, they know it, but won't admit it. Opium for the massgoers.

Ignorance is bliss is their way of thinking

[Captain Con O'Sullivan]

In the judaic books the first meeting between Abraham and 'god' mentions that around Abraham were scattered the necessary animal sacrifices..... bodies of birds I think.

Picked that up from one of the books by Robin Lane-Fox if I remember correctly (University Reader in Ancient History at University of Oxford).

Bit of a bugger that the founder of all three corporate religions in the western world at least was making animal sacrifices ...

[Ogiol]

Im not sure if i contributed this gem but John 11:35 is my all time favourite!

[fluffybiscuits]

Im not sure if i contributed this gem but John 11:35 is my all time favourite!

Jesus Wept!

There is a tale about that, When Stephen King was in school and forced to memorise a bible quote he memorised that I read somewhere!